Our family circle of sisters/nieces/granddaughters has been on email all day chewing over the latest development in the ongoing effort to keep our very own beloved 85-year-old Queen Mom up and running. As with many families, one sister is doing the bulk of the heavy lifting, and the rest of us try to do what we can--which, when you're far away, often isn't much. 

I wish I could publish the thread: it's a family-funny mix of frustration, calls for help and and this friendly admonition from the younger generation not to kill the family matriarch:

...You know how MOMs are. They were put on this earth to drive us daughters nuts. Hee/hee (I will
probably get a lot of hate mail for that one.) Just breathe in breathe out and have a stiff drink. I am so glad you are taking such great care of her.
Just make sure you take care of yourself!!

The exchange makes me realize how much I love my sisters and sis-in-law and the young women they have raised. But also, it reminds me how difficult the job of working fulltime and while also being responsible for an elder who can sometimes be, er, uncooperative.

November  is National Family Caregivers Month, and if you check out the statistics on how many people, mostly women, are taking care of how many other people, it's really quite astonishing that anyone is getting any paid work done anywhere.

According to the The National Family Caregivers Association, family caregivers provide 80 percent of all home care services, which are valued conservatively at $375 billion a year.

Some more stats:

More than 50 million people, provide care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend during any given year.

The typical family caregiver is a 46-year-old woman caring for her widowed mother who does not live with her. She is married and employed. Approximately 60 percent of family caregivers are women.

1.4 million children ages 8 to 18 provide care for an adult relative; 72 percent are caring for a parent or grandparent. Fortunately, most are not the sole caregiver.

The NFCA has some policy proposals that might help, but, mostly we're on our own.

Life coach Ellen Besso has a new book available in print and E-form, called "Surviving Eldercare: Where Their Needs End and Yours Begin"

We love the New Old Age blog over at the New York Times for its resources and real-world approach to all the issues of eldercare.

UMass Economist (and certified McArthur Genius) Nancy Folbre has focused her research on the economic value of women's caregiving.

Wouldn't it be nice if this were somehow factored into the discussion about health care reform?

                                                                 --BJ Roche