by Roberta Martone Pavia

The big “5-0” has come and gone. Pondering this milestone, I wonder why it wasn’t as upsetting as I had anticipated. It was not nearly as upsetting as turning 30, or even 40.

Could it be because I have finally reached some of my life goals? I’ve climbed the corporate ladder and come willingly back down a rung or two. I’m happily married with a child. I’ve traveled to distant shores and, as much as I still delight in the discovery of foreign lands, I now appreciate my American roots.

As great as all these accomplishments are, the reason for my recently found contentment lies in the 65-pound wonder in the next room: my 10-year-old daughter.

Looking back, it’s hard to believe that my husband and I struggled with our decision to become parents. We attended seminars, spent long evenings debating the pros and cons of parenthood, and even went to counseling sessions. We agonized about how parenting might change our lives: no more spontaneous travel, no more romantic dinners for two, and no more spendthrift ways.

Being older working parents, we also wondered if we would have the stamina to raise a child who would be filling out college applications when we were applying for Medicare.

But in reality, as those before us have realized, the birth of our daughter has put many aspects of our lives into perspective. Having a child has grounded us and taught us things I would not have dreamed possible pre-parenthood.

Today, our daughter is the cornerstone of our lives, the major focus of our daily routine. Sometimes we still find the time, the money, and even the energy to enjoy those fancy dinners and sporadic trips - admittedly not as often as we used to. And occasionally, the 10-year-old tags along. But rather than being a burden, her company is welcome. In fact, her presence often affords us new insight into something otherwise taken for granted.

I sometimes find myself running late for that all-important business meeting so that I can participate in parental obligations I once thought I would dread. Such as carpooling to dance class or volunteering at the latest school fundraiser.

Most of my friends nearing 50 are pleasantly planning for their retirement, or at least looking forward to being grandparents. I’m no fool. I know that the next 20 years won’t be easy ones, especially in today’s world. But when I look ahead, it’s with the same mix of anticipation, excitement, and trepidation I felt when I began a new job or moved to a new city. I welcome the challenges that parenthood brings: learning from as well as teaching to my daughter.

Everyday I thank her for giving me a glimpse of what it’s like to be a kid again: to walk in the rain, play in the snow, or just discover something new, like the beauty of a butterfly’s wing or the underbelly of an ant.

Most of us remember what it was like to be a kid. And sometimes in our roles as parents we’re able to relive, if just for a few moments, what life was like when the biggest decision was whether to have peanut butter and jelly or baloney and cheese for lunch.

Before I became a parent, I can remember thinking that my friends with children seemed old before their time. Now I realize that the opposite is true. Rather than feeling old, being a parent allows you to be young again.

I am thankful to my daughter for making me feel young again at 50-plus. And I look forward to growing young together for at least another 20 years.