by BJ Roche

The acceptance letters have gone out, and parents are coming through our doors at UMass these days, checking out the facilities, trying to determine the right fit for their kids. I've been talking to a lot of parents, as well as to graduating seniors about to begin their careers. Both groups have great expectations, and my experience with the seniors is informing what I'm telling the parents. Which is this:

If you're considering a public college, don't  be cowed by the status aspects of the choice. Sure, you may not be able to chime in when your neighbor brags about his kid going to a high-priced private now. But fast forward! Because you'll be hearing him whine about the tuition payments later. (Trust me on this. I speak from firsthand experience. And you know what I say? Gee, you should have sent your kid to UMass. This is why I don't get invited to parties anymore.)

Obviously, I'm a supporter of public higher ed (warts and all), because it changed my life and that of all my friends. But it also exposes a kid to different types of people from different places and walks of life. And, I believe, the middle class, if not the country, is doomed without a strong, affordable public higher ed system. I know a public is not for everyone. But if you're choosing a private college over a public, be sure--and honest with yourself-- about the reasons why. This leads to point two:

If your kid is headed for a liberal arts degree, or a particular career, don't wait until senior year to investigate those prospects and the salaries in that field. You may be shocked to see how little some super-competitive, high-profile jobs actually pay. (For example, check out small-market television news.) And if the plan is to move to New York City after graduation, are you ready to subsidize the living expenses?

This is particularly important if you're borrowing to finance college. Sure, your kid is a genius (although you may want to get real about that idea, too. Just sayin'). And dreams are great to have.

But if your kid really wants to get to Broadway, or pursue a risky or lower-paying career like journalism, dance or film making, you'd be doing her a bigger favor by encouraging more internships and a lower-cost college. (Less debt now  = more freedom in career choice later.)

Check sites like salary.com, Payscale.com, or the National Association of Colleges and Employers, which does a degree/salary survey each spring. The Bureau of Labor Statistics has a whole page of resources designed for career exploration, and its Occupation Outlook Handbook provides data on job outlooks and salaries.

I stress this because I was surprised to find several graduating seniors who are just now learning that the starting reporter's salary at a small newspaper is less than a manager at McDonald's. This is our fault as educators, but parents have to get into the game as well. (Not that your kid will listen to you. But you can try.)

When you calculate college costs, consider that your kid must work at unpaid summer internships. Parents get crazy when I tell them this, but the dirty little paradox of the high cost of college is that the degree is no longer enough. Job competition is fierce, and employers now look for at least one internship on an entry-level resume. Plus, internships help build expertise, a work ethic and a professional network. Employers also look for  campus leadership activities, and you can't get too involved when you're delivering pizzas 40 hours a week.

Encourage your college freshman to take some technology courses, regardless of his major. Any field he goes into is going to require a knowledge of and skills in technology. At UMass, we have an Information Technology Minor, which students can take in addition to their major. It's a great add-on that will give him a competitive advantage, as well as crucial skills and understanding of how things work.

Stop telling your kid he can be anything he wants if he works hard enough at it. This is simply not true. A successful career in any field takes more than hard work, it takes perseverance,  luck, timing and a good economy. (It also requires that a whole demographic layer of babyboomers move on, either to other jobs or retirement. My graduating seniors are competing not only with each other, but with hundreds of more experienced, laid off journalists. So nothing is simple now.)

Get real when you talk about careers with your kid. If something is a super long shot, tell him.

Nearly every young man who walks through our doors (and most of every other journalism program around the country), wants to cover his home city baseball team for his major metro paper and have his own sports show on ESPN. There are probably at least 10,000 of these kids for every job. There's  not enough ink, webspace or airtime to go around.

But maybe he could get a job in the front office. Or write a sports blog in his spare time. Or he could  coach Little League after his day job at a bank. Not every hobby should--or does--lead to a job. Talk about that. Explore other possibilities.

Encourage dreams, but actively engage with your kid in talking about that plan B. And a plan C.

These days, it also doesn't hurt to have a Plan D.

READ MORE:

Over at LifeTuner.org, the new AARP site for twenty-somethings, writer Jessica Swesey has an interview with author Anya Kamenetz on how to control education costs. I've been doing some work with LifeTuner and it's a great site to tell your kids about.