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One sure cure for the empty nestby Amanda Dennis I left for college this year, just as my brother did last year. Back then I watched my parents adapt to having only one child in the house, and I can’t imagine them having to manage with none. I knew my parents would have trouble coping without us in the house, but before we got the chance to see how hard it would be, they took matters into their own hands. The next day they had a new kid in the house: a foreign exchange student from Korea, named Jay. He is a junior at Saint John's High School in Worcester, Mass., and my parents could not have asked for a more perfect companion. My parents had been talking about having a foreign exchange student stay with them for years. One day, my mother’s co-worker brought up how she had two students from Korea staying with her. She asked my mom to have another boy from the Boston Global Education Program live with her. She talked to my dad about it, and they agreed.
As soon as I moved out, Jay moved in.
I went back home to visit last weekend, and my parents and Jay greeted me. I asked my mom why she had Jay stay with them.
“I love having kids in the house," she said. "They have so much life.”
I nodded and smiled to myself. My mom had always told me how much she loved being a mother, and I know it’s true. I’m glad that Jay is there to keep her and my dad busy and happy.
Jay has kept my parents young. I saw them together this weekend and got to know Jay. He is absolutely perfect for them. My parents and Jay have become good friends; they are always laughing. They are great for him, as my mom is always willing to drive him places or show him around our town.
She nags him the same as she used to nag my brother and me, telling us to get our homework done and to make sure to eat healthy. Jay plays chess with my dad and talks with him over coffee. He even listens to all my dad’s jokes; he has become one of the family.
Without Jay, my parents would be antsy, and they'd have too much time on their hands. Many parents either turn to odd hobbies, like up fishing, or collecting old coffee mugs. Some decide to put their energies into a new pet or a new job, all in an effort to fill the hole their children left.
Lots of parents drive each other crazy because they’re now alone in a big house. They don’t know what to do with themselves, so they argue.
I know that all parents must miss their children terribly, and that’s not to say that lots of kids don’t miss their parents too. Everyone misses each other, but coming to college is an important part of a person’s life, and all parties know this.
I think that if more parents took in foreign exchange students they wouldn’t feel as lonely. It would help keep them busy and fill the gap left by their children. Kids are so energetic that they help keep parents lively. Not only will foreign exchange students bring that kind of energy back into a home, but also, they will expose the parents involved to another culture.
Jay cooks a lot of Korean meals for my parents and they have gone with him to a Korean market. My mom told me about her time there, about the steaming food and chatting people who crowded the streets. Before Jay came, my mom would never have even known about a Korean market or eaten homemade Korean food.
Jay is truly great for my parents. He keeps them happy, busy, and motivated. He brings the house to life with his energy and humor. When I went to Target with him and my mother he rode around the store on the back of a cart. He always keeps my mom laughing, which makes me happy.
I would be worried about my parents if they didn’t have Jay to keep them so busy. So I suggest to everyone who has left their parents for college to tell them to invite a foreign exchange student into their home so they are content and active in your absence.
Amanda Dennis is an English major from Northborough, Mass., and a writer for the University of Massachusetts Amherst Daily Collegian, where this piece was originally published. She can be reached at apdennis@student.umass.edu.
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